Summer is Here! Tips to Help Your Relationship Survive This Summer
For some of you Summer is here, and your kids are out of school for others, maybe they are out this week! While it’s exciting that your children are advancing to another grade level it’s also a time that can be overwhelming for parents and even within the marriage. So, you might have asked yourself already, how are we going to survive this summer? But have you asked how your marriage is going to survive this summer? If you have read the last few blogs, you will see they talk about love language and how not to be lonely within your marriage. Today is the day to begin to implement those. Below you will find a few ideas on how to keep your marriage fresh and exciting while still working on that connection with your spouse.
Dating
often I ask the clients I see how often they date their spouse. Sounds silly because you’re married, but it is important to go out on dates like you did before you were married. Staying connected to one another outside of your typical conversations of “what’s for dinner? Did you get the kids from camp?... etc.” is important you still need to put each other first. Perhaps this can look like spontaneous dates or a time where you both look at your calendars and pick a day and it is something you can look forward to.
Intimacy
This does not always mean sex. This can be as simple as hugging and kissing each other every day. John and Julie Gottman have shared that a 6 second kiss and a 20 second hug can lead to a ritual of connection, adds to your emotional love bank, and it triggers the release of oxytocin which can build trust within one another, as well as a bond, and a sense of safety.
Spending Time Together
Summer is fun but chaotic, you’re planning play dates, trips, activities and much more. Often time forgetting that you’re not just parents you’re a married couple. Which can be difficult now that the children are home all day. However, spending just 15 minutes together can continue to help the marriage flourish. Having a cup of coffee together in the morning, sitting outside once the kids are asleep talking about your days. This can build a sense of feeling heard you and your partner are providing each other with a safe space to talk about anything.
Listening to Non-verbal communication- Nonverbal communication is just as loud as “normal” communication. However, being in tune with your spouse is another terrific way to help your marriage continue to stay connected and feel heard from your spouse.
If you have read my blogs in the past, you will see I often give challenges so my challenge for you is to schedule a date night with your significant other after all it is summertime.
If these suggestions are things, you are currently struggling with in your marriage feel free to reach out to one of the therapists for services to learn how to put these into place.
About the Author:
Leilani Mitchell, LMFT
Leilani Mitchell, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist here at California Couples Counseling. Leilani’s areas of specialty include anxiety, relationship issues, couples therapy, parenting, trauma, depression, and CBT.
