Are You Still Dating Each Other? How to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Relationship
Remember when you first met your partner? Remember when you were in the texting phase? Those butterflies you would get when their name would pop up on your phone, the amount of time you took carefully constructing every text message to each other to ensure that they felt as though you were actively listening and present. Making them feel loved and cared about with each “Good morning” text?
Dating Your Partner
Then the dating started. You planned everything from your outfits to the time you would see each other and what you would do. Even if that just meant grabbing food and eating in the car in the middle of the night laughing and talking about anything. The way time passed when you guys were together the smiles you would get thinking about each other.
Why did that stop? You did not fall out of love with each other, in fact you were so in love you asked each other to be your life partner, you moved in together, started a family together and planned out your life together.
Busy and Comfortable
A lot of the time we get comfortable with our partner, it’s not a bad thing however those moments that we took in the beginning to make each other feel special stopped. They changed. Now the text messages look a little more like “Can you pick up little bobby from soccer?” “Hey, the Ferguson’s want to have a BBQ Saturday.” Or “Hey what’s for dinner?” Yes, time changed due to the relationship changing however this doesn’t mean that the love you once had needs to be put on the back burner, yes you may have a child or two, busy jobs, over intruding In-Laws, however the importance of staying connected with your partner will help your relationship continue to grow.
So, when’s the last time you asked each other out on a date? When was the last time you made each other feel those butterflies you once had in the beginning of the relationship? If you’re unsure how to get them back, not sure where to start or how to communicate your feelings?
Learning How to Reconnect
Throughout couples therapy you will learn how to communicate your feelings, gain insight into when your partner is trying to start a conversation, when the silent treatment does to a relationship, and how to repair the relationship. There are a few key factors into making a marriage last and how to continue to keep the spark alive within your marriage, dating is one of those key factors.
Reconnecting with the one we love without distractions. When I work with couples, I often challenge my couples to a task for the week until they come to session again. I challenge you to draught down date ideas you would want to attend with your partner and put them in a jar/bowl. The following week pick one and go on your date.
About the Author:
Leilani Mitchell, LMFT
Leilani Mitchell, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist here at California Couples Counseling. Leilani’s areas of specialty include anxiety, relationship issues, couples therapy, parenting, trauma, depression, and CBT.
