How Well Do You Really Know Your Spouse?
How long have you been married or in your relationship? For some of you it is going to be years, for some it might be new. In either case, how well do you know your spouse is a question I often ask when I see couples. Most of you will say you know them very well but how many of you can tell me your partners’ 3 biggest stressors of the day? This may sound silly but what it tells your partner when and if you can name them is that you’re actively listening to them when they are struggling with relationships at work, or they are struggling with family issues, or they are worried about financial issues.
How do you build this connection when in a slump?
A few ideas involve rebuilding the relationship between you and your spouse, this can look like date nights without technology and talking, a card game or two, playing 20 questions seems silly however going deeper such as “what relationship did you want to be the most like when you were older?” “What makes you feel loved and supported?” and much more. It’s easy to fall into a slump of allowing the days to pass you by without a connection because, well, life happens. Relearning who our partner is and what they like, what they fear, what they are struggling with. Rebuilds the connections, opens opportunities for the relationship to reach a deeper level and it builds a deeper understanding of intimacy.
Reconnecting with your partner is the key to maintaining a healthy relationship.
Last blog I wrote about connecting with your partner and how it may look like spending a few extra minutes at night talking, connecting or having coffee with them in the morning. Connection is such an important part of a healthy relationship. It can allow the both of you to feel heard and seen and as if you both actively care for one another on a deeper level. If this is an area, you feel you and your partner are struggling with trying this exercise of rebuilding the connection and if that is not working for both of you reach out to a therapist. We will help you and your partner reconnect and find where and why you have felt that the connection severed.
Often times identifying when and where this disconnect happened is hard, however it can be the start of a stronger relationship. Each therapist on here is trained to work with couples and to assist them identifying how to strengthen their relationship and rebuild trust, connections, and intimacy.
About the Author:
Leilani Mitchell, LMFT
Leilani Mitchell, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist here at California Couples Counseling. Leilani’s areas of specialty include anxiety, relationship issues, couples therapy, parenting, trauma, depression, and CBT.
